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Spider-man’s Secret Super Power: Nonviolent Communication

Spider-man’s Secret Super Power: Nonviolent Communication

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I enjoy me some superheroes. I’m drawn to Spider-man as he has more normal problems than other heroes. He struggles to balance his day-to-day living with his superhero duties and that’s just more interesting to me. I guess it’s because he’s working class. He’s a young man trying to make something of himself living in crummy apartments and living off a part-time day job. That’s more my life experience.

Batman and Superman’s unmasked days are too easy. For Bruce Wayne he’s a billionaire. Where as Clark Kent is a middle-class journalist who can type so many words per minute  he can knock out a newspaper’s worth of articles in his lunch break. They don’t have to worry about paying the bills. Spider-man does, I guess that’s why I relate to him the most.

Superman is still boy though, that’s always been the way since, well, let’s say a long time.

 

Super Sean

 

 

I’d not paid much attention to the new spider-man movies but a recently released clip from the new film caught my attention. The reason: it showed off a super power I’ve not noticed in other heroes, nonviolent communication.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzTjnCY-iU0

I read Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication last month and I thought it was amazing, I read it twice in a two-week period. Well, I say read, I mean listened to the audiobook. Which I highly recommend. Rosenberg’s voice in mesmerising and you can hear the compassion in his voice.

Rosenberg lays out a way to communicate which involved really listening to what the person is asking for. Find the need that is under what they are saying and show your compassion by validating that need before sharing your own need. Then you calmly workout a solution that meets both of your needs.

What I love about this clip is it show’s Spider-man exercising this skill. I’m sure the film’s promoters picked it as it sets up an action sequence. Personally, I’m sold by the idea that audiences will see a hero talk out an issue before resorting to fisticuffs. He really is “your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man.”

Second Quarter Goals

Second Quarter Goals

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After two weeks I have settled on what goals I want to accomplish in the second quarter of 2014.
From April 1st to June 30th I will have completed the following:

– FUN GOAL: Take the fancy DSLR camera out and take photos for fun on 3 occasion

I enjoyed the FUN GOAL on Friday by taking the camera out to the Heritage Square Museum in Pasadena. Here’s a shot:

IMG_9690

 

 

– 12 blog posts right here on this site (minimum 50 words)

– Update Production Schedule for novel series and include a prospective budget

– Write a 4th draft of Catchee Monkey: Rex & Eddie 1

– Write a sales blurb for book cover/product description of Catchee Monkey

– Complete book cover for Catchee Monkey (both digital and print editions)

– Write second draft of Rex & Eddie 2 (minimum 35,000 words)

In the last quarter I achieved 4 out of 5 goals and stating them in public was a big motivation to get them complete so here are 7 goals. One of which is the fun photo goal, because I need to be reminded to play.

Deadlines

Deadlines

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At the beginning of the year I set some goals for the first quarter of the year. This is an update on my success and what I learned.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. – Douglas Adams.

Between January 1st and March 31st I set out to complete the following goals”

GOAL: I will have finished a second draft of my comedy mystery novella. It will be at least 20,000 words long.

STATUS: Completed

THOUGHTS: This ballooned into a 41,000 word manuscript. It was a bit messy so I did a third draft before sending it to beta readers.

GOAL:  I will have sent the 2nd draft to 3 beta readers for notes.

STATUS: Completed

THOUGHTS: I picked five people to read and all accepted.

GOAL: I will have finished a first draft of the sequel novella. It will also be at least 20,000 words long.

STATUS: Incomplete, currently 10,000 words and headed towards 40,000.

THOUGHTS: Since the first novel/la is 40,000 the sequel needs to be 40,000 as well. I’m fine with not completing this goal. I have written 51,000 words total this quarter and that is still an achievement I am proud of.

GOAL:  I will post 7 blog of at least 50 words each (after this one). Ideally one a week.

STATUS: Complete.

THOUGHTS: I wanted to post an average of one a week. I’d already posted 5 posts in 2014 at this time and I just needed 7 more. If I didn’t proclaim this as a goal I probably would not have developed this habit.

GOAL: I will be able to touch my toes with my hands without bending my knees.

STATUS: Complete

THOUGHTS: This is a fun goal, I’ve never been good at stretching and didn’t remember being able to touch my toes, even in childhood.

LESSON LEARNED

1) The main lesson I learned is that to achieve my goals I need good daily habits. Most goals that are worth completing aren’t completed over night; to do something properly it needs to be broken up into smaller steps. With toe stretching I can’t cram all my stretching in the night before the deadline and expect to gain that extra few inches of flexibility. It’s impossible.

This is the video that inspired me to touch my toes:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEKhVgwqiOc&w=560&h=315]

As you can see it’s a gradual process. So were the other goals. I could have written thousands of words in the last night to meet by goal but they wouldn’t have been quality words. Creating a good steady habit makes the task feels effortless.

2) I also realised other important things will come up. One of the reasons I did not complete the second novel/la is because I had another good writing opportunity come up.

3) When it comes to quarterly goals I need to reach for the toes, not the stars. Sure I have big aspirations, but breaking them down to smaller chunks, making them achievable in a small time frame, made me feel that hunger and drive. It was something just out of reach and I could see myself get closer and closer. That goes for word counts, blog posts and toe touching.

One of my goals for the year is to publish three novels on Kindle. It’s a big goal, daunting really, but by concentrating on whats just a little out of my reach I see myself getting closer. I get the win and realise: I did this one, I can do this again.

Bring on the second quarter of goals.

Closing The Gap

Closing The Gap

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[vimeo 24715531 w=600 h=338]

Here’s a healthy dose of inspiration for all you creative types. Ira Grass talks about the first years of being creative, and working through the troubling time of creating work that doesn’t quite meet your own standards.

What I really like about this talk is the positive angle on those developing years. I’ve seen or read plenty of other artists talk about their years of sucking before they got good but never in a helpful way. Ira really focuses on the goal of getting good by creating a body of work and calls it “closing the gap.”

I’ve seen it in movies or TV where the artist is portrayed as sucking until one day they create a magical work of art, now they have a voice or style of their own. It’s like they worked in the dark for years and suddenly found a light switch.

What I like about Ira’s “closing the gap” philosophy is that it recognizes the evolution of a craft. It takes years, but it slowly becomes something good until eventually you meet your own standards.

When looking at your work though this lens you can see that everything you make, even if it doesn’t meet your standards, is a success. You finished it, you learnt from it, hopefully it’s better than the last thing. No matter what, you closed the gap a little bit more.

PRIVACY POLICY