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The Bad Weather Kid

The Bad Weather Kid

It was thought of as mere bad luck that the boy was born during the biggest storm of the decade. Born during red-faced screeching, Mother said it was like she gave birth to the storm and Father chortled.

Years passed and the weather coincidences mounted: The toddler had a cold during each thick snow drop, a babysitter pointed out it would rain as she washed his hair, and as his tantrums grew so did the storms.

The storms got worse as the child grew older and became angrier. It was understandable that a boy would be angry if he never saw the sun. Never able to play outside.

Mother and Father would make excuses: “It’s global warming”, or “bloody British weather.” Looking for an escape from it all they went on a cruise together but the three of them were lucky to survive the outcome.

School children caught on quickly and the boy soon became the ‘Bad Weather Kid’. No one said it to him directly. Not since Timmy was struck by lighting.

As a teenager the boy became volatile. The boy’s home was once a sunny seaside town but now the locals were being driven away by constant downpour. In the years of puberty the cliffs eroded and the empty homes were consumed by the ocean.

With the town abandoned, only Father drowned.

The crushing guilt made the boy solemn and the storms were replaced with a steady rain. Mother had referred to her son’s condition as “his gift”. After the loss her husband she decided God was punishing them for not using it properly.

Mother sent The Bad Weather Kid to Africa. He’d tour the continent bringing rain to all. Droughts would end and crops would grow. Her boy was the answer to famine and she only wished she realised it before Father died.

Her boy arrived and everyone waited for the rain… But there was nothing. The boy experienced clear skies for the first time in his life and rather than celebrate he complained of migraines. Mother decided it was best he stay, as at least they were no longer having a destructive effect, or so they thought. The drought drew longer, the sun shone harder, what little crops grew had now perished. He was the ‘bad weather kid’ after all.

Once they returned to England, mother withdrew from society. At 15-years-old Social Services took the boy away and soon reported his strange effect to the government. The testing and prodding didn’t last long. The boy became furious and the storm encompassed the nation.

Too bitter, too angry, too grief-stricken – the psychologists said it would take years to control his emotions and by then the country would be devastated.

They raked their brains looking for an answer but not that one. No one dare suggest such a thing. Not on the first day at least. Someone whispered it in the first week but the rest ignored it. By the end of the month the defeated sleep-deprived experts slouched in their chairs and the Prime Minister said it.

He leaned forward and asked: “What if we kill the boy?”

Pike and June: An Inspirational Story

Pike and June: An Inspirational Story

June was looking at redundancy. The hospital was making cutbacks and they didn’t have any patients for her. A trained facilitator, she’d help paralysed patients communicate by holding their hand over the keyboard. But lately nobody needed her help.

This made June nervous. On rainy days she’d find herself praying for a bike accident. Surely someone was due a devastating spinal injury?

Eventually the boss called June into his office and she knew this meant the end. She walked down the long corridor passing the coma ward and an idea struck.

What if one of the coma patients was actually paralysed? She quietly examined them but no-one showed any signs. June should have accepted her fate and moved on but she was desperate.

Why not pick a coma victim and pretend? She’s the expert, no one could disagree with her. All she ever did was hold the patients hand over a keyboard until it felt like they were trying to push a button. She could do the job just as easily without a patient’s involvement. She’d probably be better at it – June’s spelling was exceptional. What would the coma victim care? She’d make them look good – articulate.

June picked Christopher Pike, a man in his late thirties who hasn’t moved for eighteen years. Pike would be her saviour.

The hospital was overjoyed at the news Mr Pike was conscious. June’s job was safe and Pike’s family loved her. They always knew their Chris was still there. June felt a bit guilty about this but all the hugs made her feel much better.

June found it surprisingly easy pretending to be her new patient. Mrs Pike would mostly talk at her son allowing June to simply type affirming words on Pike’s behalf. If ever a question June couldn’t answer arose then Pike was just “feeling tired” and needed “rest”. Sympathy will you get you far.

The media attention was not anticipated. At first a local news story, then national, within days it was all over the world. June felt a bit guilty about this but all the attention made her feel much better.

Before June knew it this motivational story made her a hero. She was the person that recognized Pike’s condition and Pike was always complimenting her. Eventually their life story was bought by Steven Spielberg and Julia Roberts was playing her in a movie. June felt a bit guilty about this but dinner with Julia Roberts made her feel much better.

Life was good until the day Christopher Pike woke up. Maybe she could have bribed him to carry on. There was enough so both could be rich. But why should she share? Pike was just a puppet – she was the master.

It only took a few minutes. Eighteen years lying down makes you very weak. Far too weak to hold off a pillow over your face.

Christopher Pike died aged thirty-nine. June felt a BIT guilty about the murder but the guest slot on Oprah made her feel MUCH better.

Pike and June: An Inspirational Story

Pike and June: An Inspirational Story

June was looking at redundancy. The hospital was making cutbacks and they didn’t have any patients for her. A trained facilitator, she’d help paralysed patients communicate by holding their hand over the keyboard. But lately nobody needed her help.

This made June nervous. On rainy days she’d find herself praying for a bike accident. Surely someone was due a devastating spinal injury?

Eventually the boss called June into his office and she knew this meant the end. She walked down the long corridor passing the coma ward and an idea struck.

What if one of the coma patients was actually paralysed? She quietly examined them but no-one showed any signs. June should have accepted her fate and moved on but she was desperate.

Why not pick a coma victim and pretend? She’s the expert, no one could disagree with her. All she ever did was hold the patients hand over a keyboard until it felt like they were trying to push a button. She could do the job just as easily without a patient’s involvement. She’d probably be better at it – June’s spelling was exceptional. What would the coma victim care? She’d make them look good – articulate.

June picked Christopher Pike, a man in his late thirties who hasn’t moved for eighteen years. Pike would be her saviour.

The hospital was overjoyed at the news Mr Pike was conscious. June’s job was safe and Pike’s family loved her. They always knew their Chris was still there. June felt a bit guilty about this but all the hugs made her feel much better.

June found it surprisingly easy pretending to be her new patient. Mrs Pike would mostly talk at her son allowing June to simply type affirming words on Pike’s behalf. If ever a question June couldn’t answer arose then Pike was just “feeling tired” and needed “rest”. Sympathy will you get you far.

The media attention was not anticipated. At first a local news story, then national, within days it was all over the world. June felt a bit guilty about this but all the attention made her feel much better.

Before June knew it this motivational story made her a hero. She was the person that recognized Pike’s condition and Pike was always complimenting her. Eventually their life story was bought by Steven Spielberg and Julia Roberts was playing her in a movie. June felt a bit guilty about this but dinner with Julia Roberts made her feel much better.

Life was good until the day Christopher Pike woke up. Maybe she could have bribed him to carry on. There was enough so both could be rich. But why should she share? Pike was just a puppet – she was the master.

It only took a few minutes. Eighteen years lying down makes you very weak. Far too weak to hold off a pillow over your face.

Christopher Pike died aged thirty-nine. June felt a BIT guilty about the murder but the guest slot on Oprah made her feel MUCH better.

Sick Day

Sick Day

“Hi, yeah it’s Sean. I can’t come in today. I’m really sick.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I’ve got paranoia.”

“What are the symptoms?”

“Well, my ears are burning for a start.”