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A Secret to Success: Not what you might expect

A Secret to Success: Not what you might expect

The trouble with looking at successful people for inspiration is they are surrounded by an awful lot of mythology. You can pick someone like Raymond Chandler and be wowed by his writing, but what we miss out is that his first novel was published when he was 50-years-old. That’s a lot of practice and hard work, a lot of failing before he succeeded.

I’m editing my novel at the moment and came up with a thought that people on twitter seemed to like:

https://twitter.com/seancameronUK/status/458810890062553088

Now that I think about it, success stories leave out the holes as well. And maybe they shouldn’t. Maybe knowing that our heroes are silly humans that fall from time-to-time would inspire us all a little bit more.

Here’s a video that inspired this blog post:

And here’s part 2

Parental Self Defense

Parental Self Defense

A few years ago my wife suggested her daughter, my step-daughter, take martial arts to help her grow self-discipline and control.

“She can’t do martial arts classes,” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because, then I’d have to take martial arts.”

“Why?”

“To defend myself. I can’t have a nine-year-old have the ability to beat me up.”

I’m a bad parent but I don’t have to look over my shoulder.

Comparisonitus

Comparisonitus

Description
By Mayo Clinic Staff

Comparisonitus, also called “why’s he got what I haven’t got” syndrome, causes bitterness, resentment, lack of focus, stagnant progress and decreasing goal completion symptoms. Unlike being lazy, comparisonitus, is a lack of movement caused by an allergic response to someone else’s success

Comparisonitus can make you miserable and affect your performance at work or school and interfere with ambition and drive. But you don’t have to put up with annoying symptoms. Learning how to avoid triggers and finding the right treatment can make a big difference.

SYMPTOMS
Comparisonitus signs and symptoms usually start immediately after you are exposed to a specific kind of success you crave and can include:

– Envy

– Low self-esteem

– Depression

– Financial pressure

– Loss of motivation

– Decrease in meeting goals

 

CAUSES
During a process called sensitization your nervous system mistakenly identifies someone successful or happy as something harmful. Your nervous system starts producing negative associations with this harmless person. The next time you come in contact with the person, these negative associations will cloud your mind and stop you from working on your goals.

Comparisonitus triggers include:

– Wealthier people

– Healthier/Fitter people

– People with advancing careers

– People with completed projects

TREATMENTS
The best way to treat Comparisonitus is to avoid negatively associating other’s achievements and success.

– Don’t base your self-worth on comparing your whole life against someone’s best moments.

– Don’t compare against what you don’t know.  Sure you want that guy’s flash car, but do you want his ridiculous car loan?

– Be grateful for what you do have.

– Comparing will drain time and energy which should be spent on gaining your own life pursuits.

– Remember there is nothing to gain from comparisons. If they are better than you, then you become resentful. If you are doing better than them, you feel like an arsehole after.

– Focus on your inspiration. Learn from people you admire instead.

– Only compete against yourself. What will happen when you overtake that person?  Give up? Pick another doing better than you?

If you have Comparisonitus the best thing you can do is avoid exposure to triggers by dedicating your time achieving the goals you have set for yourself.